What the holy heck is all I can keep sayin.... Is this a girl thing or do guys do this too? The 'thing' I'm talkin about is this overly bitchy back stabby weird jealous thing that women get. Well a lot of women get and for the LIFE of me I cannot figure out why the biggest 'tearer' down of a woman is often OTHER WOMEN!!!!!.
I'm huge, but I'm stickin to it... I'm a whale of a woman but Ive got a lil less blubber than a month ago. I'm trying desperately to change my life, my whole being and its not easy. Its hard. It sucks and at times I want to give up. At times I don't really think I'm gonna make it. Point? When I started this journey I didnt have a blog. When I started this weight loss battle I needed the shoulders of my friends, I still do. But I got none :( So I started to write. And it made it better when I began to read all of you fellow weight loss fighters words out there in Bloggerland and beyond. I found a shoulder here in cyber space. Encouragement in all your posts about how you all were fighting this same fight. I'm so very happy for each success and my heart hurts when I read of your struggles. Ive been there, I can relate and its not a great spot to be in.
I don't understand what happens to us women. If a woman has success in her battle, especially a physical one, whether weight, money or relationship, it seems women can get very snipe-ish. I haven't pushed any of my friends in my direction. They at times have said they wanted to do it too and then treated me like the food police. People I dont care what you eat... I cant control my own mouth how am I going to control yours? Phone calls became few to none. Support, non existent. What the Heck????
Another female friend of mine had the gastric. Im so proud of her, shes lost over 60 lbs. She is battling the same thing. Female friends that don't speak to her any more. Friends not calling. Her best friend for over 20 years is avoiding her. No its not because she thinks she looks hot and is flaunting it... shes lost 60 lbs and still wont wear anything but huge mens sweatshirts because she still thinks she looks huge. Shes not flaunting it at all... shes just smaller. And so as she has changed so have they.
This is really sad. One of the worst traits about being a woman. We do it all the time. I cant tell you how many posts I read on my hubbys Face Book after the Academy Awards on how Sarah J Parker looks like crap and this one or that one looks fat. Really? really? I bet most of them were sitting in their sweat pants eating cheezy poofs while analyzing J Los ass. But Im ranting. I know it. Ill stop it... still fuming, but calmer.
Thanks for letting me blab it all out here. Thanks for being my cyber shoulder. thanks for not leaving me alone with my fears and my doubts and my huge fat arse! I just GOTTA know guys (and gals) out there.... is this just a chick thing? Do guys get all bent and jealous over dumb stupid crap too? Cuz I gotta tell ya, I did not see one post on hubbys FBook about Brad Pitts ass in his jeans coming from some guy, and I doubt I ever will.
Have any of you experienced strange friendship/relationship problems since getting healthier? How did you handle it?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hey HB, I think a lot of people surround themselves with people that are what they perceive as equal to themselves and when that someone has success, whether it be with weight loss or money or whatever, the other gets jealous. You made a positive change and the people around you are threatened because you are doing something that is not only healthier for yourself but is also going to boost your confidence. Instead of embracing it, they look at it unfavorably. I think men do it too...just not as much.
ReplyDeleteAs of right now, I have experienced only positive feedback from my friends. They are telling me that I look great, that I am doing awesome and want to know what I am doing. I am blessed to be surrounded by people both at home and in the blogging community that are like that. But most of them are guys...
I'm happy for you, HB! :D
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that women have to be catty and backstabbing. I've had some problems with that too. Just do whatever it takes to make YOU happy and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. In the end, you will know who your true friends are, and they won't care what size you wear.
Thanks All and Sharon :) Just frustrating when it happens.... grrrr....
ReplyDeleteI've had a few people in my life not give me the support that I expected. I am glad that you're here and I want you to know that I will be rooting for you
ReplyDeleteJust like you can't control what other people eat you also can't control how other people behave and think.
ReplyDeleteI've had a bit of a different experience with my friends sometimes apologizing for eating pizza or some other less weight friendly foods in front of me. I tell them not to worry about, living with temptation is a fact of life.
It makes me realize however that they may be uncomfortable eating cake and ice cream when you have turned it down. I know that I eat a lot more often now then before. So when I am at a buddies house and I reach into the lunch bag I've brought along for a snack or a sandwich that I brought along I feel a little weird eating by myself.
I often apologize, sorry to be rude but I need to eat, my friends say they don't mind and I know they don't. But when we spend our entire social lives sharing food and then we break from that, everyone has to adjust and some people do it a lot easier then others.
The best we can do is smile and be happy in their company. True friends will show their colors.
Ty so much WWoman :)
ReplyDeleteMM I know I cant control how they feel... and I havent asked them to change anything, but the minute I did change things in me... something went wrong. Hubby told me not to talk about it with friends, so I stopped even saying my progress... sometimes I guess people just grow apart, for what ever reason, and this is as good a reason as any I would suppose.
I am so glad that all of you are here. Its so encouraging to see all of the progress each of you are making, each your own way and in your own times. I cant tell you how it motivates me to read how you all are doing each day :) Thank you...:)
Yup, total women thing.
ReplyDeletesadly, it's too often a woman thing. women can be pretty open with their thoughts (scathing attacks) but also, in my experience, can be much quicker to jab you where it hurts.
ReplyDeletei guess my only advice is to try and steer clear of people who bring you down. you need friends who support you in every move you make, no matter how close or far-removed they are from your issues. there are tonnes of women who use their intuition for good - some of your followers, for example - so don't lose heart.