I think the hubby and I have a difference in opinion. I was in a mood yesterday, well really all week. Not a very good mood I might add. I wasn't really snapping at people, but disinterested would be more like it. I went through my motions doing my laundry and cooking, changing diapers and bathing lil bodies, helping with school work and monitoring childrens progress on their chores. But my head wasn't in it. My heart wasn't in it either.
Hubby and I had a talk last night and again this morning. Firstly let me reiterate what a supportive and loving hubby I have. I have said it a 1,000 times and Ill say it again; if I wanted the moon that man would find a way to rope it and hand it to me. But last night we had a talk about what "healthy" means. I found it means something totally different to he and I. Healthy to me means being fit, in shape, in control. Healthy to him means being happy. For him its is a state of mind issue. In his mind if one is truly happy everything else will work its self out. Truly happy is the key there. When one is truly happy they dont continually make choices that hurt themselves. Whether that be with food, sex, drugs etc... We all make occasional choices that aren't good he argued, but if your happy and genuinely enjoy who you are and where you are in your life those occasional bad decisions we make as humans dont become habits that inhibit our over all happiness. The man has a point.
He doesn't want me to do "this". He was honest about it. He thinks I am going about "this" from the wrong angle. He wants me to be healthy... translation; really be happy. Not content, which is what I am, but HAPPY. So as he left today he asked a few things of me. He asked that I go outside and simply enjoy it. Enjoy the sun without fidgeting and feeling guilty that I should be "doing" something. He told me to stop looking at what needs to get done and start enjoying what has already been accomplished.
All in all I know its true. I know humans are no different than animals and there must be some pay off, good or bad, that I'm getting out of over eating and not moving my body like I should. Some pound for pound pleasure I get out of my bad behavior. Were not stupid creatures and the whole world isn't on a diet so there's something that makes them move. Theres something that makes the rest of the world stop when they are full. I think hes right. It isnt about the foods or the work outs, its about healthy happiness. Its about making the simple right choices in small ways. A choice like having a normal portion and leaving some on the plate. A choice like walking the laundry out to the line instead of putting it in the dryer. Choices like walking to the mailbox instead of having the kids get the mail. There are a million small things that I can honestly say I put off to avoid moving. Its like when I sit on the dock instead of stand there and fish. Its like going to the park and watching while he pushes them on the swings. I think its not as complicated as we have all made it out to be; eat less, of anything, and move more, always.
In the end he will be supportive of my efforts what ever road I decide to take. He doesn't agree most days, hes proud of my resolve on others but on the whole he is supportive. Today he is picking me up Greek Yogurt cuz I asked for it. Cuz maybe Greek Yogurt is the key to my "happy" diet... :)))))
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I like him. He seems wise and that he loves you a lot. Take his words as a gift and just enjoy your day.
ReplyDeleteSpoken like a true man...smart, logical and loving. I think you are both right. Being healthy is a state of mind and being in fit. And they tie together too...for many being out of shape is being unhappy. And being unhappy can lead to being out of shape.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between "content" and "happy" is what brought me to this place in the first place. Safe, comfortable, ok... They aren't really "happy". There is an underlying fear that that those things will change. Happy is knowing it will be ok, no matter what. It's confidence, not fear. I want to be happy.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, Greek Yogurt is the Golden Ticket to weight loss, HoneyB! lol
ReplyDeleteYour husband's POV is something I'm really going to think on. I've never in all my days associated being physically fit with first being Happily fit in my mind.
Great post and thank you for sharing an initmate conversation so we can all learn a new lesson. Well I did, anyway.
Enjoy the sun!
My husband has the same attitude. I have a problem with the theory because I grew up thinking that Food = Happiness. There was no problem that Mom's baked goodness could not fix. I have to retrain my body to feel satisfied with less and find happiness in other things.
ReplyDelete@Fitcetera... lol your yummy posts about greek yogurt is to blame today :P :)))))) Its funny because he lost a very physical job last year. He always ate ALOT of food. He worked hard and his weight never went up r down. He kept eating like this after he changed jobs cuz he was used to eating that much to maintain and gained 18 lbs in 4 months!!!!! One day he decided.... "I cant have seconds" and he got more active in other ways than his job. He lost the weight literally overnight. He ate less and moved more but he didnt once "diet"... he just did what his body needed him to do and left it at that. Being healthy for him isnt a number on a scale, its measured by the things he is able to do during his day... and those things bring him happiness... its all one big circle he explained to me. Find your happiness and you complete your circle... there is no beginning or end... no start and no finish, one will lead to the other and it will just continue on and on.
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