Slackerzzzzzzzzz....

For those of you out there who might not know what this image is its Mii, or more specifically its me on the Wii. I am using my Wii (and not so successfully this week I might add) to track my weight loss and exercise to help me loss weight and give me the visual feed back I seem to need. This is great because I cant really see a 2 lb weight loss on myself, Im just too huge. But I can see it with the handy lil graph and it actually makes me feel like I have accomplished something. I get VERY discouraged very quickly :(

On the Wii Fit whom ever uses it lines up (see me, I'm the really round one in the middle) and then you grab your unfit self and continue on with your specific work out. Look at those lil slackers in my family. If you don't work out regularly your Mii passes out and cant stay awake due to your presumed extreme laziness. Those are but a few of my kidlets on there. Note they are ALL skinny Miis. You have no choice in this by the way. When it measures you it even chimes out in a high pitched voice "Obese!" and then sets your character as fat as it can :(

I was thinking on this picture, why is it some people can eat the same foods as others and not be huge? What makes them stop at 2 cookies when I finish the rest of the whole pan? How can I be more like them in terms of eating when I'm hungry, not for every other reason I can think of, literally. That reminds me its Friday. I kid you not, Friday is an excuse to eat like a pig. Hubby has the day off from work and I don't like him to see me diet so hows this for perverted thinking and radical excuse making.... I eat lots of food so he doesn't know I'm trying to lose weight. DUH!!!!!!! I know, I know, so backward. Wow, am I delusional at times.

So Im gonna tell em. I'm gonna blurt it out in a not so casual way. Ohhhh Ive hinted and said things like, "Id really like you guys to help me not eat so much." or asked on of my sons to be harder on me about exercise but I have never actually let them in. I have asked a couple of friends for support and really put it out there how I just dont think I can do this alone, but to no avail. I really need to make a firm commitment to myself. Perhaps in front of my hubby. Its almost as if I think that if I ask for help or tell him how much of a problem I have that he might finally figure out that I'm fat! :)))))))))))))))))) Ok, I need a hard slap. This man is NOT blind he knows I am fat. Sometimes I wish he was harder on me. Then I suppose if he was to say anything about my weight I would secretly hate him for it.

I did ask hubby to pick up a few things. Green tea and some vitamin B complex for starters. I am going grocery shopping today with him. We always go together and I am shy about picking up "diet food" because I suppose I am afraid of failing in front of him. What I need to realize is that I am failing him by not picking up better foods. I am letting he and the kids down by not making those changes that would make me a healthier mom, a sexier wife. Instead of being the strong one, the proud one, I think I need to humble myself enough to ask for what I need. Even if that means I might fail at times.