Fuchsia Power

Ive been lookin for some really cute dresses to kind of get myself back into the spirit of being some what human everyday. I am not, nor have I ever ever been a pants wearer. I don't own a single pair, not in knit, denim or other wise. Thats right, no shorts or capri's either. I am a dress girl. Always have been so my momma tells me. Ohhhhh I tried even in my thin days to do the "in" thing and wear the jeans all the others were squeezing into but I never liked them.... the fit, the way they looked... the fact they could be worn equally as well by a man :/

When a person has seven kids you tend to, of course and as it should be, put their needs first. Clothing *duh me* being one of them. So since I figured, I never really go anywhere I only had 3 outfits to my name. Yes, 3 dresses hung in my closet. The rest of my stock in clothing is in the form of nighties (jammies) with matching robes. And no, I don't own any PJ pants either :)))) So now I'm on this quest to find pretty clothes. Pretty dresses to be exact for heavy women.

Part of the "new" me is finding the pieces of the old me again that I LIKED. I really liked being "girly". I really liked the feeling that being super feminine gave me. It was almost as if when I put on a beautiful dress and heels I felt like super woman. Super mom, super wife.... its like when I took off the dress and put on the jammies I some how felt less capable, or maybe I just thought less of me. Like June Cleaver without her pearls. Still just as 'June-ish' but there's something about a woman who wears pearls to make a pot roast. You just got the sense that June was in that kitchen because she wanted to be there, in some way she must have. She was obviously dressed to be anywhere else but, and yet she smiled. I know June isnt real... shes an 'ideal', at least for me.

So I'm going for the parts of me that bring out the best in my personality. Being a woman is such a gift and before any one says it, I know being a woman isnt defined by the clothes one wears or the hemline of a skirt. Yet for me I find comfort in the finished look of a made up face and I see confidence in a womans gait when she can master the 4 inch heel. My mothers generation would cringe I know.

So I ordered some beautiful dresses and I am patiently awaiting their arrival. I have been dressed in my own for the last three days.... I have to admit I do miss my jammies, they are soooo comfortable, and I feel fat when I am dressed. I feel fat all the time (duh me again :)))) I AM FAT!!!) but I guess when I am dressed I feel kinda icky. Like I notice how fat I really am when i guess the jammies help me hide that, at least to myself. Facing me, I suppose that's the point of this whole thing.

I have been doing my hair and make up as well. I really went out on a limb and painted my toes bright hot pink. Fuchsia Power. Oddly enough simple things like pretty toes does make me feel, if not more powerful, at the very least more upbeat. My 4 year old son was in shock. He had only seen his sisters with painted toes as I have not done it in so very long. He asked me why I did it. I said "Because I am a girl." What he said next shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. He looks at me with his big brown eyes and says quite seriously "Your not a girl, your a mommy!"

And there you have it. Outta the mouths of babes......