Having A Grrr Moment....

Your entering the bitch zone. Youve been warned and if you have a particular aversion to seething bitchiness I suggest you stop reading right where you are. If you continue reading, consider yourself warned and if i happen to offend.... sorry bout your luck.

With that said, the item to your left was on a post on my FaceBook page. I wrote it out and hung it on my fridge. Could be quite motivating... but NOT for the reason you might be thinking. Remember back about two weeks ago when I posted about my hubbys friend Nick and his wife Jen getting the gastric bypass? The feelings I related that day were, and still are genuine. The item on my fridge is something she posted to FBook today infact. The friggin bitchy f'in pissy part? Well here ya go....

When she had the surgery she posted how wonderful her hubby was for taking care of her after surgery. Nothing abnormal there, actually it was kind of sweet. Then all her friends comments came. "OMG Jen what did you have surgery for?" and things like "What happened, are you ok?" And this from friends and family mind you. She doesnt say anything to this for a couple of days and so it goes on. Now Sean (my hubby) is telling me that she has decided to keep it hush, hush which to that I think, whatever. Its her body right? But why post on FBook? If your not seeking the attention that is.

So anyhow she couldnt leave the "What happened?" questions unanswered right? She posts "I was having some stomach issues." Are you f@cking serious! Like what? I-ate-too-many-dind-dong-a-litis issues? You mean I-cant-keep-away-from-the-fridge-erousis issues? Cuz I suffer from those too and didnt know I could just call my lazy, fat, selfishly obese ways a "stomach issue"... more like I have a character flaw if you ask me. I was even fine with that until today.

So I wake up and she posts this lil charm. To me it sounds like, if I didnt know any better, shes suffering like the lot of us who DO in fact sit back and watch our families eat things like farkin' creamy alferdo bow tie pasta while we have a roasted bell pepper and a turkey GDamn link!!!!! If I didnt know any better Id think she really earned those f'in 22 lbs through sweat like MM and Al and Clyde! If I didnt know the f@ckin truth I might be proud of her the way I am when Sharon struggles for each and every scale victory!!!!! IF I DIDNT KNOW!!!!! But I do... and the rest of FBook doesnt. She gets to sit back and lap up the compliments about being on a healthy DIET!!!!!!! while reaping the rewards of having no f'in choice in doing so!

Before anyone touts the GDamn fact that surgery isnt the "easy" way out f the hell off... Firstly, the vast majority of people I know getting it, with the exception of one person, have no real critical health issues why they cant diet another way. Its not harder, or people wouldnt opt to get an ELECTIVE surgery like that done over the "much easier" method of diet and sweat. If I could go to sleep, suffer a few weeks of pain but be FORCED not to eat wow would that relieve my sick f@ckin' brain from the struggle I am constantly in. Another thing. They have to lose weight BEFORE the surgery. If you can lose weight to have it then pray tell.... why are you considered unsuccessful at dieting? WTF people? Lets call a spade a spade here.

She had it great. If thats the way she needed to do it fine. I say how ever the heck we can battle this thing than by all means get it the frig done but good god do not pretend its something other than what it is. All for what? So you can have some sort of Star Jones moment? Do not take away from people who struggle each and every day to fight that good fight when youve had some one fight it for ya. Be honest, or dont f'in mention it all.

Clyde, you told me to use it. To keep it as a fire to chase her and GDamn it Clyde I am .... I lost this weight before... 127 lbs in 7 months fast enough to rival any surgeons skill and I did it by my own hand. I will earn every freakin inch lost. I will DESERVE every ounce of satisfaction in my OWN accomplishment. I want to say, to all of you who have lost weight and to those who are still battling. I am soooooo proud of your honesty. I am sooooooo routing for you in every way. This goes for those I know who are fighting it the natural way and to some I know who I have followed their journey through weight loss surgery. Its not the surgery that has got my dander up, its the lie that went with it. Thanks to all for being who you truly are... admitting your strengths and your weaknesses.

The picture of me you see to the right was taken shortly after my 6th child was born. It is a pic my hubby took on his way out the door with his cell phone. He was taking 3 of the kids to go see family 1,200 miles away in New Jersey and wanted a shot of me. It has long since been one of his favorites, not because I dont think of the particular shot, but for the "image" it gave him. I want to be her again. I was by no means a tooth pick, but I was confident. I felt sexy, I felt self assured and I knew my place. This whole thing, its just makin' me want her back. I want her back for him. After all they say living well is the best revenge.

Sorry bout my bitch fest, but its really how I feel. Cant say I didnt warn ya.... its just one of them days.