The Calm After The Sh#t Storm

Feeling much better today. I had a really pissy and fired up day yesterday as some of you may have read... dont say I didnt warn ya :))) Im happy I got it out of my system at least... lets move on ward and up ward as they say.

I have weigh in tomorrow for the contest and I might jinx it by saying this but I reached my first 5% yesterday morning and it was still holding true as of an hour ago so lets hope I dont bloat like a whale over the next 24 hours before the camera comes on! I spent yesterday taking a few photographs for my new intro for my videos and it kept my head in a good place while I was having my tantrum. I see other peoples videos have lil intros and I thought it might be fun. Plus Im thinking this will be kind of a fun record when Im done with losing the weight of where I started from and how I did through the process.

Heres a pic I took yesterday of my 5 year old girl. My name in the contest is phatlilmaryjane cuz well I love high heels and Mary Janes are my favorite :P Here she is in one of my favorite pairs the lil cutie :)

I guess I did learn something valuable yesterday during all of that. I really wanted to eat. I mean I was hot, and angry and pissy and I wanted to eat everything because thats how I stuff down my feelings most times. But I let it out yesterday. I wrote about it here, and I wrote about it in my journal. I was still focusing on it too much and instead of making food my focus I shifted to my creative side; enter photography. I literally can spend hours taking pictures. I can sit day dreaming of shots Id like to see, and making the shot happen can take a day or more. Then comes the editing process... i love it all, such a passion for me. Heres the thing... the whole while I was shooting and putting together my stuff, I wasnt obsessing about food. I wasnt focused on anything but the beauty in the pictures. I guess I am slowly learning how to control the gluttonous monster within.

I have a couple of photo shoots coming up and I think Ill accept more even though I dont feel all that ready. I have a feeling this could be another tool in my efforts to struggle with my temptation to over eat. My morbid obsession with hurting myself with food. Im just gonna start filling my plate with beauty, one shot at a time.