My Carrot Tomorrow , Rewards Today...

 I think everyone has a carrot. That one thing they would love as their "super" reward when they reach goal. New clothes for some, vacation for others, tummy tucks for a few. Now I know, losing 100 lbs and gaining so much in terms of health and mobility is a huge reward in and of its self; but I cant be the only one here with some other incentive. I'll get to that in a wee lil minute...



When I wrote yesterdays post I began to think of the things I have missed over the last couple of years. Not just personal things that would have benefited me, but opportunities that would have helped out our family. Business opportunities. I can honestly say that on a weekly basis I have some one ask me to shoot them. No, not put them out of their misery but photograph them. Photography has been my passion for some years now.

I have shied away not because I am not confidant in my ability, but because I am just all around not confident in myself. I wonder if I would have seized these chances and just gone with it if it could have really gone somewhere. Yesterday I made a firm resolve to stop wondering.





Here's the carrot. I only have a point and shoot. This year my hubby was going to buy me my dream camera, but I stopped him. He had it ordered, and I canceled it. Not because I didn't want it, but because I knew in my heart I wouldn't really get out there. I have always said to friends and family that I turn down these requests because I don't have a nice enough camera for the shots... ohhhh but if I did, what then would be my excuse?

So there it is; the carrot. My camera. I am worth it, and I do deserve it. For every pound I lose $10.00 goes into the camera fund. For every pound I lose I'm building up a savings for my dream. When I'm done with this 100 lbs. Ill have ALL the tools I need to succeed and the confidence I am lacking to make my dreams come true. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to take risks or work on it now.

I went out yesterday, point-n-shoot in hand and shot some photos of my daughter in preparation for a friend I actually got up the nerve to say "Yes" to. Her twins are graduating, a boy and a girl, and she wants me to take their pictures. I'm scared as hell at the thought. I haven't shot for anyone else in a long time. I have a million reasons why I feel this way and all of them could justify a really weak excuse for saying "no". I am embarrassed to get up and down off my knees and I even at times am on my belly. I don't feel like I have the 'right' tools for the job, mentally or physically.

But you know what? This woman knows me. She knows the tools I have, she knows my limitations. I don't have to have an over abundance of confidence right now. I'm building it, I'm depositing this experience in my mental savings just like the money for the physical pounds I'm losing. and I will be richer for it. Someday when I really need it I can cash it in.

What are your 'carrots'?